Ask Joe!
"Dear Joe,Recently, I’ve been really worried about how others see me. Last week, a guy said I was what would happen "if stale mayonnaise was a person" and everybody laughed. Now I dread going to school every morning, because people are probably making fun of me behind my back. What can I do to be more confident?"— Insecure in Santa Monica Dear Insecure,The first thing you need to do is give yourself a pat on the back. Sure, you may be “different” from the other kids, but that’s exactly what makes you “you!” If I spent my day worried about what others thought of me, I’d never get anything done! Just this week, I heard people in the halls making up stories about me, saying that I wet myself in period two AP Environmental Science last week. Are these accusations absurd? You bet. But do I care? No! Feeling comfortable in your own skin begins and ends with accepting yourself. Once you do that, confidence will come naturally.It won’t always be easy, of course. There will always be jerks out there who will try to bring you down, who will call you “stupid,” or “awkward,” or “that guy who got so scared by the shark in that video on water pollution that he peed himself.” But here’s something you might not know about those jerks: they’re just as insecure as you! They’re no strangers to the anxiety of an unfortunate blunder, or the embarrassment (I assume) of calling Mom and asking for a dry pair of jeans. Often, the people who give you the most grief are dealing with grief of their own.And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. It might not be obvious, but the truth is that I’ve dealt with insecurity before. People talk, and people spread rumors. People misconstrue water stains on jeans, no matter how clear I am that they were from the leftmost sink in the second-floor I Building bathroom (which is NOTORIOUSLY FAULTY, I might add). But even though it gets to me sometimes, I never let it get to me. Navigating the complex waters of social interaction in high school can be as scary as a great white shark swimming past an oil spill, but if you keep a positive attitude, anything is possible.Essentially, what I'm trying to say is "be yourself!" If people don’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours... occasional failure is okay. We’ve all “peed ourselves” before metaphorically (but NOT literally), but the secret is in how you cope with that embarrassment. So never give up! The haters are wrong, and no “literally 30 witnesses, including Mr. Gaida” or “video evidence on seven different Instagram stories” can change that.— Joe