50 Years Ago Today: Gray Matter

“Gray Matter” was a column about a hot topic of debate or curiosity among the students written by Editor-in-Chief Bob Harrell and appearing in every cycle of The Samohi in 1968. Practically every single human being owns a pair of white sneakers; whether you own them just because you’ve hopped on the Stan Smiths bandwagon or because you need something to wear with every item you have in your closet, they are a necessity to your wardrobe. But what the majority of people don’t comprehend is that they are signing a contract when they buy a pair of white sneakers. And while it isn’t the kind of contract you see as a scare tactic in those tobacco commercials, it contains the most important, unspoken rule about purchasing white shoes: they are going to get dirty. I don’t care what you do to try and protect your new, blinding babies, but they aren’t gonna be white for long. Someone is gonna step on your shoes, whether you’re prepared for it or not. If you’re the person who blows their top the second someone comes within a foot of your brand new, way too god damn white shoes -- you know who you are -- it’s time to check yourself. You bought those shoes knowing full well that white is only white for a day, maybe two if you’re lucky. If you are so uptight about the cleanliness of your shoes (which are shoes for a reason: they’re meant to get dirty), DON’T BUY WHITE SHOES. Get some black shoes so you can sort out your priorities and stop worrying about the fabric that covers your feet.