The Non-Existent Santa Monica Winter

It’s 64 degrees with a few clouds in the sky. All around, the suffering Santa Monicans shiver in fur parkas and Uggs, their eyes dead. Winter has officially begun. Ahead lies a few months of below 75 degree weather and maybe an occasional drizzle. Terrifying. Let me clarify. This means no more spontaneous trips to the beach, no more crop tops (unless you wear a cardigan, ladies) and no more booty shorts. You might even have to endure the pain of carrying around a sweater when you go out! Scared yet?And with “winter” comes rain. Yes, as in water falling from the sky. If you need a reminder, check your Snapchat feed. You're bound to find a substantial amount of baffled Santa Monicans filming and posting the inconceivable: rain in Southern California. Just imagine, it has happened twice in one month! Our poor souls. On those insufferable nights, when the temperature dares to drop below 60, it may be time to turn on that abandoned heater you’ve ignored for months. Yes, that exists. Where are those fluffy socks your grandma bought you for Christmas last year? You better find them, because no one likes slightly chilly feet.While you’re at it, it might be a good idea to change your Starbucks order from frappuccino to cappuccino, just to be safe. It’s time for Pumpkin Spice Lattes!Your relatives on the East Coast may call you ridiculous, but what do they know? Forget blizzards, hail and sleet, we have to endure sweater weather!So, Santa Monicans, break out your Lulu Lemons and Levis, your sweatshirts and jean jackets, your Doc Martens and Uggs, because this winter is going to be a tough one. Tomorrow’s forecast promises a high of 68 degrees and a low of of 60 with partly cloudy skies. I wish you luck.