Mother knows best

Dear Samohi faculty,It has come to my attention that Samo regards my child's schedule as a toy with which the school can play around with. I, along with the other members of the Angered Mothers Union (AMU), are preparing to take to the streets against the outrageous schedule changes Samo has imposed on our children. Let me give you a few examples of just how these backwards time schedules and disorderliness have affected my life. Oh, and my child’s as well.Last week, I had an appointment at the Chaz and Dean Hair Salon, may I inform you, Los Angeles' most prestigious hair salon. Only the most highly-ranked mothers can acquire appointments, as all the other appointments are reserved for their regulars such as Toni Collette and Jay Leno. I had my appointment set for two o’clock which normally would have given me ample time to style my shoulder-length, bleached bangs with a pixie cut in the back. Perhaps I would have even had a few extra minutes to flirt with Mr. Leno. However, because of the new dismissal time Samo has implemented into this year’s Tuesday schedule, I had to cancel my appointment to pick up my children in our Toyota Sienna, which has since faded the blonde tips from my bangs. Now I will have to wait another three weeks, thanks to this absurdity. I have attached a bill for $3,700 that covers the $300 appointment you have led me to miss out on plus an extra $3,400 charge for the emotional detriments of this particular event.Next I’d like to discuss the removal of the 9:38 am late start on Wednesdays. For the past two years that my children have been enrolled at Samo, I have been able to reserve my Wednesday mornings for an 8:30 am Soul Cycle class. I’m sure you can predict my disappointment when I found out that this year’s late start means starting only 40 minutes later than any other day versus the nearly two hour late start from previous years. Now I can no longer achieve my Healthy Mom Weekly Checklist of 50 hours of expensive-I mean extensive-exercise weekly. Below I have also attached a subscription to People magazine (unpaid for) because clearly whoever has implemented this insanity is not caught up on the necessities a wealthy-or sorry a HEALTHY-mother must uphold.As the proud president of AMU, I am here to warn all of you inconsiderate administrators and underpaid losers that you don’t stand a chance against us and our menopausal hormones. There will be a rally held on Friday, October 32nd at 3:60 pm infront of Michigan gate to ensure our voices are heard. If need be, we will put forth any further actions to speak to whoever’s manager we see fit.Best regards,Karen