No more "#metoo" stories for our future generations

Sexual harassment is “the making of unwanted sexual advances by one individual toward another, in which the first person persists even though it is clear that the other party is resistant” and is predominantly an act of men against women (Introduction to Sociology, 276). Sexual harassment is just as much a social norm in our culture as watching football on Sundays, no matter how uncomfortable that fact is to accept or even acknowledge. Sexual harassment has been going on for generations and is now rightfully in the middle of a war zone due to the Hollywood upsets starting with Harvey Weinstein and all the women who have shared their stories usually starting with “#metoo”. However, if it’s been going on for generations, why is it just being seen as deviant now? To truly answer this, we must look at the root problem of sexual harassment: the socialization of children.  Socialization is “the social process through which children develop an awareness of social norms and values and achieve a distinct sense of self” (Introduction to Sociology, 85). Think back to when you were elementary school: what television shows did you watch? If you’re a teenager reading this, maybe you watched “Hannah Montana” or “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”. Both shows portray teens and “tweens” playfully making advances to attract the opposite sex. Ever notice that when you were in elementary school you wanted many of the things that the characters that matched your sex did?I distinctly remember the very first time I saw the movie “High School Musical”. I fell in love with the cute romance Gabriella and Troy had and I would run around school pretending to be Gabriella, dramatically leaning against the walls of the hallway singing, waiting for my very own Troy Bolton.I never stopped to think about how Gabriella was portrayed: a young, innocent, smart and beautiful girl who is a prize to be won by basketball superstar Troy Bolton. He would do anything, even break the rules (ie. sneaking into her room at night), just to have a chance to be with her. This idea of getting what you want at any cost is the basis of sexual harassment, as much as it crushes my elementary school-self to say.Don’t believe me?Now think about what you watch now. Maybe you indulge in “Family Guy”, “Friends” or even “Game of Thrones”. In every show you watch today, it’s filled with drama usually revolving around violence and sex, showing teenagers who watch it that rape jokes are funny, women are just sexual objects at the disposal of men and men are the superior gender. While these are pretty specific accusations, think about your favorite television show: who is the main character? Who is the romantic interest of that character? How does the main character approach their romantic interest?If you answered how most people would answer, your thinking process was probably a lot like this:In the show “How I Met Your Mother”, Ted Mosby is the main character. He has multiple love interests, but treats many of them like things he can obtain because they are naïve and not at smart as him—something he picked up from his good friend Barney Stinson who literally has a book to pick up women, almost like the manual you get when buying Ikea furniture.Now let’s say you don’t watch these typically teen-targeted shows. But at some point in everyone’s life, they’ve seen “The Simpsons”. In this show the main character is Homer Simpson. His love interest is Marge who stays within the home sphere and takes care of the kids. He approaches her, usually drunk, and always wanting to have sex.It’s no surprise that TV shows portray men lusting to have sex with women, and it’s even more predictable that they do so in a manner that basically says “because I am a man, I can get what I want at any cost”. This mentality is paralleled in real life.Sexual harassment is the obtaining of what one party wants at the cost of the other party’s discomfort and resistance. So no matter how much discomfort we feel when talking about sexual harassment, it stems from our socialization of children: what we let them watch, do and see in their daily lives. Now I’m not saying that we should shut off every TV and news source just to keep our children from becoming sex-driven beings, I’m simply pointing out that sexual harassment is not just some random judgment people make when given the opportunity, it’s learned behavior. And one that most people don’t even realize they’re learning. This is especially disturbing because as we’re raising the future leaders of our country, the current leaders and people in power that have already been through this socialization pattern and beginning to be called out at sexual offenders.So knowing this, it’s really no surprise that sexual harassment is a social norm in our culture rather than a deviant behavior. We’re raised off the notion that this is the behavior we’re expected to exhibit. That being said, it doesn’t have to stay that way, and we’re beginning to see a shift in the pattern revolving around sexual behavior through the reactions of the public to people like Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and Louis CK to name a few.Harvey Weinstein is a notorious sexual offender that has been getting away with it through the silence of his victims. This is a man who has completely abused his power in order to obtain sex from various women. Something that the people within the Hollywood circle have known for years. However, with the bravery and strength of many women, he is finally being exposed for his misdeeds.Through this exposure, he will hopefully become an example to all other men that abusing their power to fulfil sexual desires is incredibly selfish and cowardly, to say the least. Something no male should ever practice, and no women should have to be victim of.But with that being said, how much impact are the celebrity “#metoo” stories actually having?Personally, while I was growing up, sexual harassment was always just something that was brought up in conversation, was said to be a horrible crime and swept under the rug. It wasn’t until I found out that someone close to me had been sexually assaulted that I fully realized the devastating weight a victim must carry after such an attack.When something is distant from your usual day-to-day life like a celebrity who most people just see on a big screen every other month, their “#metoo” story might not have much impact. However, when it’s someone you know, and you know on a day-to-day basis, the weight sticks.I remember the day my friend told me her story. I can remember the leftover smells of lunch in the cafe we were at, the pool of condensation that had collected under my drink and the weight my heart suddenly gained as she told me her experience. It was almost as if with every word, she was transferring some of the pain she had to go through to me.Pain like that should never have to be felt by anyone, no matter how young or old, poor or rich, drunk or sober or any other combination of excuses used by victims, attackers, judges, lawyers and more to justify sexual harassment.Exposing sexual harassment for what it is takes a lot more than just famous people sharing their stories, it takes current victims speaking up and sharing their stories to educate others. It takes courts to indict and punish those who have been the assailants of sexual harassment. It takes changing how we treat sexual harassment when socializing children so that our future generations don’t have to go through another wave of “#metoo” stories. And most importantly, it takes all of you, young people who can change the norms of this society. As soon as we start making sexual harassment a deviant behavior rather than a social norm, the more likely it is that we won’t repeat the same pattern that so many generations before us have done.Sexual harassment is a conscious choice our society continues to condone, and it’s time to say enough. No more “#metoo” stories for our future generations.