Top 3 hot takes: scientists can’t be trusted
Malllory South, Editor-in-Chief
The Earth is round
Ever since the 5th century B.C., there have been records of Greek philosophers questioning the preconceived notion that the Earth is flat. Recently, with the growth of outspoken social media influencers and TikTok conspirators, commonly referred to as “rounder Earthers,” this niche group has begun to gain lots of traction.
Some of the undeniable evidencecoming to light includes recent pictures taken from the International Space Station, which, when pieced together, prove that the Earth not only has curvature, but volume. Samo flat-Earther and Co-Editor-in-Chief of The Samohi, Erkki Forster (’22), commented on the validity of the onslaught of recent claims stating that the Earth is not flat.
“Hundreds of years of research have shown that the Earth is, literally, flat… I just don’t understand how people could believe anything else,” Forster said.
Who knows what the future holds for round-Earthers, maybe one day everyone will believe them, maybe one day the “crazy” people will be those who think the Earth is flat… but I highly doubt it.
The Moon Landing happened
A *not so* long time ago, in a galaxy *not so* far far away, *this galaxy,* astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin did not land on the moon, or so people say.
Ever since the dawn of time, or atleast July 16, 1969, a growing number of people have been speculating that the government TV series “The Space Race,” with its highly anticipated finale “The Moon Landing,” was filmed on location. People are citing the lack of quality visual effects at the time and the remarkably high budget of the series as proof that the moon landing was real. Of course this is all speculation at best.
The Samohi was unfortunately ghosted when reaching out to NASA for a quote, however, we were able to interview a child, Kendra Martinez (’38), wearing a NASA t-shirt standing outside of a 7-Eleven.
“Shoot for the stars, aim for the moon, because the only place you will ever land is in your dreams,” Martinez said.
Birds are real
“It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s… not a government spying device?”
Following the U.S. government’s apology surrounding unwarranted drone security cameras, which was broadcast nation-wide Friday, April 1, many are losing hope that birds could actually exist.
Following this announcement, it is rumored that the Samo bird watchers club has been holding secret, underground meetings. A member of the Samo bird watchers club, Ella B Rose (’22) (a pseudonym), commented on the club’s plans to prove that birds are, in fact, “the feathered friends true believers have always known them to be.”
“As it stands, our plan is to use catch-and-release on a few local birds and run tests using high tech gear, such as magnifying glasses and black lights. We hope to let our observations and results soar like the birds do in the sky!” Rose said.
Initially, there were plans to include some of the club’s data and conclusions in this article, however, the Samo bird watchers club was shut down after two of the three members attempted to cut into the cafeteria line in order to steal chicken strips.
