Survival guide: The reality about navigating samo

By Sienna Bevan (Copy Editor)

Samo is about the size of a small college campus, making it difficult to navigate at times. With nine minutes in between classes, and sometimes needing to go from one side of campus to another, efficiency is key. Forget about walking with a friend or unraveling wired headphones to listen to music, passing periods are serious. 

One of the most dangerous occurrences would be getting caught in a stampede. Not just any stampede, but a Language Building stampede. The students leaving the Language Building want to get out as quickly as possible, and will therefore do anything it takes. Possible consequences of getting caught in the oncoming traffic are severe injuries and/or humiliation. 

Survivor of the stampede Phoebe Benun (’25) touches on her struggle through the sea of language-goers, with what must have been a tear forming in her eye. 

“You get tossed around for a good minute as you try to find a path, and then you eventually just ride the current all the way to your destination,” Benun said.

The most important rule for traveling to the Language Building is to walk with the flow of traffic. Always stay on the right side. The one exception to this is when going to the English Building. Imagine playing Crossy Roads in real life, except in this case, it’s rigged and there is no way to actually make it across. It takes perfect timing and ambition to cut across the stampede coming from the Language Building. When getting ready to make the turn, possibly hold out your left arm as a signal until traffic slows down and brace yourself for impact. As for going inside Language, grab a mask (KN95 or gas mask), hand sanitizer,  helmet and be prepared for anything that comes your way. 

Liam Macmahon (’24) was reluctant to even talk about the building. 

“The Language Building is $#!%” MacMahon said, referring to his time navigating its halls.

Contrary to the Language Building, students feel more affection towards the Discovery Building, if you aren’t including the dysfunctional air conditioning and alarm systems of course.

Side stairs to Discovery may be the obvious shortcut, but they aren’t always the way to go. For the sake of everyone, walk single-file. When they get clogged, people are pushed against each other and the safety of students is at risk. Aggression is shown and side-eye is thrown. Those with experience exercising on the Greeks might as well take the left side of the main Discovery stairs—the giant stairs. When going up them, get as much momentum as possible–take a running start and say a silent prayer if you must–and don’t look back. Meanwhile, the Innovation Building is a breeze. With three stairways, students can disperse themselves without having to worry about stampedes or running starts. 

In the case of a cross-campus trip, students may need an estimated arrival time. For the average walker at Samo, the trek will take approximately five minutes and 16.37 seconds. For those with rolly backpacks, plan ahead and take side routes. The cafeteria-runners, for those who don’t know, are the students who somehow manage to leave class early and make it to the lunch line before the fourth period bell rings. They don’t even need to worry about timing. As for the saggers, those whose pants somehow just can’t stay on, there’s no way you’ll make it to class in time. In other words, just get a belt.