People on Montana Ave: be careful!
Walden Sullivan, Staff Writer
Have you ever been trying to enjoy your time on Montana in Santa Monica but been guilted into supporting a Samo club? This may sound very specific to some, but it is becoming way too common for comfort. If you have ever wondered how the innocent people of Montana have suffered through this growing epidemic, this article is for you. I took time out of my very busy schedule to do some investigative journalism by interviewing Montanans about this. Their stories may shock you.
We start with Judy Klein. She was on her way to the nail salon when she was approached by a group of “Samo hooligans” who asked her to support an ASB bake sale.
“I wanted to say no, but I didn’t want to risk being publicly ridiculed, so I bought a cupcake and moved on with my day,” Klein said.
While you may be thinking that this is a minor inconvenience, the plot thickens.
“All was well until my appointment was over and I had to leave. When I walked out, the ASB bake sale was gone, but it was replaced with the soccer team’s fundraiser. I tried to explain to them that I had already donated to a Samo fundraiser today, but they insisted. I didn’t want another bad cupcake, so I just begrudgingly handed them a 5 dollar bill and walked away. I left Montana with stylish fingers, but an empty wallet. If you would just leave us alone for a year or two, maybe we would be more willing to help you out,” Klein said.
That story is just so tragic and shouldn’t be happening to anyone.
But the real question is, what happens if you do say no? Well, Ralph Gibson unfortunately has the answer.
“Once on my morning run, I was asked to make a donation, but I didn’t have any time to spare. When I said no, they grabbed me by the hair and yelled ‘do you hate education or are you just a bad person?’ I was paralyzed, I didn’t know what to say. I was basically being mugged by a bunch of children. I threw down a $20 bill as a distraction, and I ran for my life. Now when I go for a run, I have to take a completely different route. Please Samo, find somewhere else to torture people. We’ve had enough!” Gibson said.
These are only two of the hundreds of traumatic experiences that poor Santa Monicans have had to endure. I will reiterate once more, find literally any other place. Be like the trailblazers in this journalism class who were thoughtful enough to fundraise on Main Street. I am sending my thoughts and prayers to those who have been affected through these hard times, their stories deserve to be heard #boycot_montana_fundraising.
(Left to Right) Ryia Khatod (’23), Kendra Martinez (’23), Rachel Levin (’22), Mallory North (’22), Megan Suchet (’22), Monti Khatod (father). The journalsim class is not innocent of this heinous crime; they too have harassed innocent Montanians.