Relationship radar: unpacking toxic trends
Love bombing. Ghosting. Gaslighting. These terms are often thrown around in online discourse to define a toxic relationship, which are oftentimes romanticized and glorified. Red flags are frequently overseen and ignored in relationships, as they are overshadowed by the deep interest someone has in the person they are dating. Diving in deeper to find the true meaning behind toxicity and red flags online is a crucial thing to do when the media has such a great influence on impressionable minds. Controlling behavior, dishonesty and violation of boundaries are all prime examples of red flags and while identifying this behavior is one thing, addressing them and finding solutions can be far more challenging.
Red flags and toxic behavior are often misconstrued to be the same thing, but there are subtle differences between the two. Red flags can be promoted online through varying definitions of a ‘perfect’ relationship, while toxicity is often more personal and becomes more apparent in a relationship. Toxicity can especially take form in television relationships, which can distort the understanding of what a healthy relationship truly looks like. Euphoria, one of the most popular shows among young adults, depicts the relationship of main characters Maddie and Nate, an on and off teen relationship of domestic violence and manipulation masked as love. Chuck and Blair of Gossip Girl are yet another example, as they are a highly romanticized and prominent couple in the show yet their relationships contain severe power plays, lack of trust and emotional manipulation.
Beyond television portrayals, embodiments of an ideal relationship exist on social media as well. Currently, this fosters in the orange peel trend on Tiktok, in which you ask your partner to bring you an orange and if they bring it unpeeled, which reflects that they are uncaring and poses a reason for potential breakup. However, for the foundation of a relationship to be based on whether or not an orange is peeled or not is simply irrational. And although listening to the first piece of advice on your feed seems like the easy way out, taking advice from social media is especially misleading as most users are also teenagers, who are just as misguided as everyone else and unfit to be relationship connoisseurs. Ultimately, relationships should be built upon mutual boundaries that both parties agree upon, not what social media trends determine to be healthy or unhealthy. Maggie McLaughin (’27) shares how toxic behavior takes form online.
“In the media, toxic relationships are considered a common occurrence and while red flags and toxic traits are known as a negative thing, on social media they are not displayed as badly as they should be,” McLaughin said.
High school relationships can be especially difficult to navigate as teens learn to communicate, set boundaries and understand what constitutes a healthy relationship. The wrong ideas being promoted on social media only amplifies these challenges and while relationship content online can be idealized and enjoyable to consume, it ultimately muddles the understanding of a genuinely healthy relationship.