Should political differences impact friendships?
Yes
Sienna Bevan, Managing Editor
Let us disagree over the economy—over inflation and unemployment; let us disagree over who and what our taxes should fund, over law enforcement policies and over welfare programs. Discourse is essential to democracy; and disagreement is certainly unavoidable in politics. But we aren’t disagreeing over gas prices anymore; we’re disagreeing over whether or not I have the right to govern my own body. As such, when deeply held moral values are at the core of our political opinions, they undoubtedly will, and should, impact friendships.
Some policy differences are inconsequential. Other policy differences, however, are an expression of meaningful human values. Therefore, it’s partly a matter of which political opinions people disagree on, but also a question of how many fundamental issues on which you disagree. And beyond a certain point, which is difficult to measure, too many disagreements will make it hard to have a true friendship. Friendships depend on shared values, not only shared interests and hobbies.
James Baldwin, the late writer and Civil Rights activist, once said, “we can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.”
Disagreement is inevitable—even healthy—in relationships; but when you bring human rights into the conversation, that’s a different story. This election was not solely about politics; it was about morals. It was about defending, or denying, the rights of the many marginalized individuals in this country whose voices are suppressed. A candidate who gives comfort to racists, for example, is not merely expressing a difference of opinion; they’re standing on the other side of a significant moral divide. Trump is a man who opposed the Equality Act—a federal legislation expanding civil rights to protect LGBTQ+ people—in 2019. He has also described immigrants as “poisoning the blood of our country” (2023), as “animals” (2024), and “rapists” (2015), calling for immediate mass deportation.
When you vote for a man who said “you can do anything [to women]. Grab ’em by the p*ssy,”—a man who has had sexual misconduct allegations from over 26 women—you are not voting for your daughters, mothers, wives and girlfriends; you are not voting for women.
When you vote for a man who was endorsed by the Klu Klux Klan’s official newspaper, The Crusader, in 2016, and the Taliban in 2020; a man who is supported by, and has praised, Vladamir Putin and Kim Jong Un—two murderous, totalitarian dictators; a man who claimed Hitler has done “some good things” (according to John Kelly, former White House Chief of Staff), you are showing who you stand with.
When you vote for a convicted felon, the only federal official to be impeached twice, and the only President to incite an insurrection on the Capitol, you are not voting to uphold democracy.
When you vote for a man like Donald Trump, you are showing what you stand for. And that shows me that we don’t have the same values. I choose friends who care about others besides themselves, who care about democracy and equal rights for all, and who strive to cultivate a culture of compassion and unity in this country.
I stand for respecting others' life and political differences; I believe our differences are what makes us great as a nation. It is when the political opinions start to impact people’s fundamental life differences that we have a problem. Minor political differences don’t need to make an impact; major political differences should impact friendships. When a political candidate cannot respect our differences as humans, we are in the realm of major political differences. And there is hypocrisy in saying ‘we must respect others’ political differences,’ when they voted for a person who can’t.
Let me make it clear that when I say political opinions should impact friendships, I’m not saying they should necessarily end them; but when I know someone supported someone like Trump, I have a mental asterisk next to the idea of them. And how much it detracts from my feelings about them is going to be due to some combination of an assessment of how much they understand about the values they’ve supported, how much they accept those value differences, and other things I might know about the person.
For those who choose ignorance—acknowledging the severity of all of these facts and still overlooking them—you are condoning hatred and intolerance. I can continue to coexist and work with those with whom I disagree on fundamental issues, but where meaningful friendships are concerned, I don’t want to constantly “agree to disagree.”
Art by Raha Ghoroghcian, Art Editor
NO
Liam Sauer, News Editor
In a time where political views seem to be so entrenched in how we represent our core values, it may be difficult to see how we can preserve friendships with someone who votes for the antithesis of what we believe in.
However, here’s what I know: I was raised, like many of us, to believe in the inherent virtue of putting oneself in someone else’s shoes. Humanity, in that sense, is our ability to empathize with others not simply recognizing their hardships. It requires the strength to truly hear the perspective of someone that you may vehemently disagree with and in turn, see their actions in good faith.
Thus, this concept of tolerance is also the building block of friendships. The whole beauty in a friend is that you can come from COMPLETELY different backgrounds, experiences and viewpoints and, yet still love that person for their true essence. You can get past what you believe are stupid and irrational decisions and beliefs, because you know from experience that they are a good person and vice versa.
Since the election it appears as though the concept of putting aside differences has flown out the window. If you’ve spent some time on Instagram [or have taken a glance at the article next to mine], you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.
“This is more a statement about your morals than your politics… If you voted for [x, y and z] we simply can’t be friends… You are to blame.”
This just cannot be stood for. It is valid for us to criticize the political positions of others. That is the point of discourse. But to demonize those close to us, merely for their choices within this election, is a fanatical response to what otherwise should be a constructive disagreement.
The assertion that tolerance has its limits, is fair. There are certain views, specifically those that advocate for the destruction of the rights of others, that are unacceptable. Yes, those views did make their way into this election. But for the majority of Americans, they voted in spite of the negativities that their candidate represented.
Just like in every election, people had existential problems in their lives that they thought, regardless of the character of their candidate, could be solved by their policies. Are you telling me you are going to forget all of your friends' good qualities and everything you’ve been through, because they took the “wrong” approach to the election for their own valid reasons?
If you have a TRUE friend, someone you know is a moral person, who supports you and makes decisions cognizant of others, you have to be able to view their perspective. Maybe you voted off of concerns for democracy and ethics. Maybe they voted off concerns for their families wellbeing and worldwide peace. Maybe they were wrong in their approach. Maybe you were wrong. At the end of the day, you don’t have to respect their opinion, but you need to hear each other out. If we fail to do that, how do we moderate our views? How do we even convince others and bring them over to the “good side”, if we can’t maintain relations with the people closest to us.
Martin Luther King Jr., once said, “We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools.”
As a society we can seek to put aside our differences and move forward together. We can choose to hear each other. Or we can continue to live in our bubbles, straw-manning everyone who disagrees with us.
Don’t give this election the power to destroy our morals, our friendships, or the tolerance that is the foundation of what makes our country great. Don’t in our attempt to eliminate the ignorance we so despise, allow ourselves to become ignorant.