Is it possible to be a “girl’s girl”? Exploring female friendships and stereotypes (Copy)
Posts on TikTok, Instagram and other social media platforms of people praising girls’ girls – women who are supportive of other women and see them as friends instead of competition – have spiked in popularity over the past year. Originally cast as the opposite of a girl who behaved only for male attention, going so far as to act at the cost of other women, a girl’s girl has evolved into an entirely new concept that leaves us wondering: is anyone truly a girl’s girl? The answer is no.
At the base level, girl’s girls are seen as women who know and respect “girl code.” Under this criteria, there are many girls’ girls all over. But when more parameters are placed on being girls’ girls, the standards become unrealistic. A girl’s girl is someone who immediately tells you the store they got their clothes/perfume/jewelry from when complimented. She is also the person who hasn’t gossiped a day in her life In addition, she immediately tells someone they have something in their teeth or they need to fix their makeup the second it appears. If girls don’t adhere to these standards, they can be labeled as “out to get the other girls” and are no longer considered girl’s girls.
Art by Audrey Strauss
While often, friends and family might point out these things, it is unreasonable to expect those you might or might not even know to do these things just because she is a girl. Even if some girls may not immediately tell another if something is awry, or may tell a white lie in order to protect another person’s feelings, this does not mean that they have bad intentions. Different girls show that they care and help out in different ways, but being a girls’ girl for everyone around is not realistic. With all these rules about what makes someone a girl’s girl, no one can truly meet the standards to be one.
A girl’s girl is also someone who is not “boy crazy. In fact, they prioritize their female friends over those they are romantically interested in. While many girls value their female friendships and put great effort into them, it is unrealistic to expect girls to not equally value the time and work put into building romantic relationships. Just because a girl is having a love life doesn’t mean she is only seeking male validation, even if she might cut down on time with friends to do so.
While the definition of a girl’s girl might change to be defined more loosely or more generally, not “helping” a girl out does not make her a bad person, and doing so might have more to do with being a good person in general than someone only for the girls. I am not a boy’s girl, but I don’t know if I can consider myself to be a girl’s girl either, I am just a girl.