March Madness School Survival Guide
Co-written by Bryce JohnsonArt by Fatimah KhanIt’s March again, and for sports fans, it’s like Christmas. The college basketball playoffs, one of the most exciting spectacles in sports, maybe even television, is just around the corner. 68 teams are invited, fighting tooth and nail to hoist the trophy in early April. The weeks leading up to the championship embody the name itself: madness. Everything that people love about sports is rolled up in one amazing tournament: underdogs, love of the game and raw emotion, giving the fans the purest form of the sport. It doesn’t matter if your team is made up of five-star recruits or if you’re a school that no one knows exists, come March, it’s just kids playing the sport they love. Every year millions of Americans gather online or with their neighbors and take on the near impossible task of trying to perfectly guess the outcomes of every game in the tournament bracket. However, the true beauty of this competition is in the inclusivity. It gathers people from all over, sometimes not even sport fans, to fill out their brackets, with their own methods and tactics, hoping to be the best among their friends. In the round of 64, the first two days after the play-in round (called the First Four), hopes and dreams are made. 32 games are crammed into the span of 48 hours, packed with all the upsets and buzzer beaters that one heart can handle. The only problem is, these games always fall on Thursday and Friday. That leaves the fans in school or work with three options: not watch the games, skip school/work or find a way to watch. Seen as though on average, $1.9 billion dollars (according to Time.com) are lost from low worker productivity at this time of the year, we all know people are definitely watching. If you can make a good enough case to not go, then problem solved but for the most part, no one's parents or bosses are letting that happen. Most of us, especially those at Samo, are forced to resort to that third method. As die-hard basketball fans over the past years, us at The Samohi Sports have been able to perfect techniques to watch without getting caught–through tests, overly-strict teachers and any obstacles in our path, we will watch. Here is the how-to:The first step is downloading the March Madness Live app. Here you will be able to stream all the games, make brackets and set alerts for certain games. Also, you're going to need a hoodie to hide your headphones. As far as watching, there are a number of methods.Cluttered Desk Method:This one is pretty simple as all you need is a full backpack, with a textbook for the class. When you get to class, put the textbook on the desk, along with some books, papers, etc. This creates a wall where your phone can rest behind. If the teacher stays in the front of the class or you sit in the middle of the room, this works for you.
Pencil Pouch Method:For this one you need a pencil pouch with a clear side. Put your phone in the case so it’s facing you through the see-through part. From a distance, it seems like just a regular pouch. The downside is that it is very difficult to get away with using headphones, so closed-captioning needs to be on or you can just watch silently, which is better than nothing unless your teacher walks up and down the aisles. 
Backpack Method:This can work two ways. One, put the phone in your backpack, and leave the top open. Then you will be able to take quick looks over at the game and can find a way to fit headphones in. The other way allows to watch more of the game. If you are cool with a person who sits in front of you, ask if you can put your phone in their bag. Position the phone where it’s covered and facing you. This way it just looks like you are staring off. The downside is that closed captioning needs to be on and depending on eyesight ability may be a little tough.
The Cut and Go:This method isn’t for the weak-hearted. We’ve seen many March Madness veterans pull this off. First, find a book that you don't care about or are willing to destroy. Then, cut a hole in the book deep and wide enough to fit your phone. There is actually a discarded book section in the library where you may take a book and not worry about having to check it out, plus these books are free of charge. Adjust your book size based on your preferable phone position (horizontal or vertical) and start your binge. Unfortunately, with this method there isn’t really anyway to plug in your headphones without looking suspicious, so make sure your phone is on silent.
Last Resort:If all else fails, you’re going to need to go old school. The app has a feature for radio commentary, allowing you to listen to the game and have in-depth play-by-play. All you need to figure out is how to put in headphones. Putting your hood on over them is always very reliable. Or there’s the bold play: spray paint the headphones black, so they blend in better (or buy black ear buds). If you are quiet and somewhat on-task, your teacher may not notice. By the second day, if none of these work, then it’s desperation. Ask all your teachers if you can watch the games in class. For the most part, you will get no’s, but one might help you out. Doesn’t hurt to try. Teachers such as Mr. Hoffman, Mr. Parker and Mr. Aker usually have the games on at lunch.
In short, this is an article in a school newspaper telling you how to watch TV in class. March Madness is that important. It is a craziness that extends off the basketball court to everyone watching. Be on the look out for the occasional scream in the middle of class and the kid who is on the verge of tears because one of his Final Four teams just lost to a no-name school in the first round. Good luck and happy bracketing!