Dino Nuggets are yummy!

Mallory North, Editor-in-Chief

Long before the time of the human race, nobody knows who, or what, walked the planet. Although the widely accepted theory is that there were no living animals prior to humans, a small cult of believers, or “scientists,” are trying to prove otherwise.

Citizens of the U.S. and the world are worried about this dangerous group, as they continue their pointless journey of trying to prove there was life before humans. Recently, they have resorted to grave robbing the final resting places of old animals, collecting their bones and giving them fake names, for example “fossils.” Scientists have been spreading their findings via platforms such as Reddit and Twitter, sending all of social media into a panic that “dinosaurs” will return.

The Samohi contacted a young member of this cult, Rachel Levin (’22), and attempted to gain an understanding of the group’s mindset.

“They were real! Just imagine a dog, but like, bigger. And permanently stationed on its hind legs. And with scales for fur. So not a dog,” Levin said.

When asked why she compared “dinosaurs” to dogs, Levin was firm in her response.

“What was I supposed to do? Compare it to a lizard?” Levin said.

Levin was escorted from the interview by security after violently waving her arms like a “pterodactyl.”

So, to sum everything up for the readers who may be confused, lock your doors, board your windows, Godzilla may be requesting you on Airbnb.