Let me order steak: The vegetarian trio
In restaurants and cafés across the nation there is a quiet murmur of people of all ages, politely turning down offerings of chicken as they smile and proudly say, “I’m a vegetarian.” With a dignified superiority, they continue to grin as they digest their leafy meals — leaving me staring down at my plate piled high with carcasses of adorable animals.I am going to feel guilty about eating meat no matter what; it’s only natural to feel bad for animals. But unlike vegetarians, all hesitation disappears when I take the first bite. Not to mention, meat has tons of nutritional value, and humans eating meat is just part of the food-chain.The first point I should make, is to remind everyone that I respect vegetarians for the self-control, self-restraint and determination it takes to order a tofu dish instead of a steak. But when I go out to eat with vegetarian friends, I usually get varied attitudes toward my choice to eat meat.There are three reactions I typically get from vegetarians. The first reaction is that of the “Class Act.” The vegetarian enjoys her meat-less meal, and truly does not care that I am enjoying chicken or steak across the table from her. The “Class-Act” pays the bill and leaves as if nothing was wrong. She is obviously confident in her choice for herself. We can draw a lovely parallel to the religious at this point. The “Class Act” is like a dedicated individual who believes that spiritually, going to their house of worship and praying to God is the best for him/her. He/she accepts that others believe in different faiths. He/she does not glare at someone who mentions that they are Atheist. This brings me to the second type of vegetarian.The “Quiet Judging One” is the second and most sneaky type. Without a single word that directly attacks my choice to eat meat, the “Quiet Judging One” manages to make me feel like a cold-hearted murderer. Every few minutes, her eyes drop down and linger on my plate of meat, briefly. She occasionally slips in a few references to how she’s lost weight because of her lifestyle change or how there is a new documentary about the cruelty of meat processing. The “Quiet Judging One” is dangerous because she makes it difficult to pinpoint the exact moments that she reminded you of your inferiority. Yet, one thing is for sure — by the time you throw in the tip, you want to worship the “Quiet Judging One” for having convinced you that she has the selflessness of Mother Teresa.When I see people standing on the side of the road, holding signs plastered with such phrases as “Beware God’s Wrath” and/or “He Will Judge You For Your Sins” part of me wants to jump out and punch them for being judgmental lunatics, but the other half of me holds my Unitarian Universalist beliefs — that everyone is entitled to their own spiritual ideas. In keeping with this religious metaphor, the third type of vegetarian, “The Vege-Converter” is the one who describes how the pig I’m eating was kept in a tiny crate all of its short life and force fed with tubes, suffering, so that it could become artificially plump and be sold off to some butcher for a hefty price. “The Vege-Converter’s” goal is to make you feel so bad about loving meat that you join the force of vegetarians who refuse to uphold the food chain. “The Vege-Converter” will rant about how eating meat is unethical, fattening and condemnation worthy.Sometimes I just want to eat my food. So please, Samo vegetarians, don’t look down on us “abnormal” folk because we eat meat. Eating meat is only healthy and follows the path that was set by our cavemen ancestors. Not eating meat is denying our natural human instinct. And to all the non-vegetarians out there, take my suggestion and do not grab lunch or go out to dinner with types one or two of your vegetarian friends. Maybe instead you two should grab coffee or even better, you may have just found your new bowling buddy.Olivia LeganNews Magazine Editor