Class of 2022 has no class
Sara Javerbaum, Staff Writer
Dear Seniors,
I expected more from you.
Every form of media seems to tell me that upperclassmen always have some type of drama. From the murders in “Heathers” to literally every scene in “Euphoria”, I thought senior scandals were a given. However, we’re already two months into the school year and nothing has happened.
The biggest shock came on Day 01 of the school year. I sat down to eat lunch with my friend group and patiently awaited a serenade that never came. According to Season 3, Episode 1 of the hit series “Glee”, approximately five minutes into lunch, seniors should pop out of the shadows, belting show tunes and breaking into dance. These songs usually trigger arson, slushy-throwing and awkward panting. As lunch came to a close on the first day of school, I held out hope. Day after day, I wandered through campus, searching for a murmur of a melody, or a hint of harmony. During passing periods I followed the music, only to be disappointed by a group of band kids practicing for a concert or the school harpist staring me up and down.
I distinctly remember watching Clueless for the first time, marvelling at the incredibly styled students. Somehow, amongst all of their AP classes and standardized tests, the characters always showed up dressed to the nines. In their matching plaid sets and perfectly styled hair, they strutted into school, ready for the day. When I arrived at Samo, I was appalled to find the plaid I treasured so dearly not in preppy skirts, but in pajama pants. I understand that applying to college during a pandemic isn’t the easiest task, but a little more effort would be greatly appreciated.
Though I love where I eat lunch: an undisclosed, secluded and very much secretive part of the school, a part of me wanted to get closer to the action: the cafeteria. The tried and true childhood sleepover movie, “High School Musical” is known for its accurate representation of high school. Knowing this, I refused to go into the school’s cafeteria. In the movie, the students in the dining hall are shown dining in few, very selective groups, including but not limited to: The Jocks, The Dorks, The Musicians and The Popular Kids. I knew I wasn’t ready to make the decision of which group to join just a few weeks into the school year, so I held off on visiting the cafeteria. I finally mustered the courage to peek inside and was horrified by what I saw: theatre kids eating with Mathletes, basketball players laughing with violinists and an actual life-sized, cardboard cutout of Troy Bolton seated next to Napoleon Dynamite.
All this to say, the class of ’22 did not deliver.
Oh well, I’m off to Pali High. The seniors in this institution don’t provide me with a genuine high school experience, and today marks the first day of my hunt for a real public school. Though I’ll miss the friends I’ve made, the authenticity of my teen years comes first.
Bitterly,
A Disappointed Freshman
